Skip to main content

I Beg My Pardon (And So Can You!)

OK, so every once in awhile, we are forced into retrospection; usually when there is nothing more interesting to occupy our minds. Take for example, the new Man of Steele movie. In spite of my opinion that Superman is the least interesting of all superheroes, the trailer for this reboot is drawing my attention like the Magna Doodle pens do to the little lead beads. But in the absence of new movie trailers, memes, or gossip, usually we are only left with reflection of the past and inquiries of the future, all to avoid dwelling on the present task at hand.
 
Such is life as the Home Depot water girl. Many people pass me as I water and playfully comment, "wow, that would be a great job to have!" That's what I usually think about teachers or politicians or other hot shots (in Spanish, you'd say 'peces gordos,' which means "fat fish"). Not that I don't enjoy my job, but it is A LOT of water. And it's not particularly brain-stimulating. Which gives me plenty of pondering time. And I could create several blogs over the material that has come to me during these small hours-
www.growbiointensive.org
But my best water-lation (revelation, but wetter- get it?) thus far came whilst I was in the middle of watering the Jasmine vine plants at the back of the nursery. My mind wandered to a certain someone I know who did some things that are so heinous, it almost leaves your brain numb to think about it. Trust violated, hearts hardened, that kind of jazz. Things that only belong on the worst episodes of Jerry Springer.

So imagine my disdain when this same person, obviously weighed down with imperfections and a hearty dose of stupidity, starts mocking a reality star for their drug abuse frailties. I just couldn't believe it. For me, this person's crimes far outshone what some random famous fool had done. By a long shot. And so... Hello?! Was homie for real? How can someone whose actions have changed the course of several peoples' lives have the colossal nerve to harp on a complete stranger, when said enigma's sins pale in comparison? I was awed, baffled, and really pretty angry.

However, I was still watering, so I was able to meditate over the matter a little more. Then it occurred to me- Oh. My. HELL. I wonder if that's how GOD feels about each and every one of us. To him, we must all seem like perpetual hypocrites. Have you ever had that moment- you have just told someone not to pick their nose in public or to stop incessantly tapping their nails on the table... only to find yourself doing the same thing not much later!  We just can't seem to help ourselves.  A lot of times, we even dedicate our prayers to pointing out how much someone bugged us that day. Well, that could just be me. I figure if  the human race gets a kick out of "The Real Housewives," well, maybe God enjoys his daily dose of drama as well.  Anyway, I read a great little ditty in some other blog/post/article that I don't remember now about how much we all want to be pardoned by the world for "not being perfect," and yet, we ourselves are so slow to forgive the least offenses we perceive have been committed against us.

Ironically enough, right now it's 9:39 at night, and the subject of the pre-recorded episode of "Criminal Minds" that I'm watching focuses on a murderer who chooses his victims based on how their private lives clash with the projected perfection of their public profiles. One of the victims, for example, was a reporter who tattled on the world while secretly growing a stash of pot in her backyard. The plot is a lot more complicated than this, but the point is, the murderer was punishing people in secret (a crime), for other people secretly committing crimes but supposedly going unpunished. So he was hypocritcally killing all the hypocrites. Technically, he should have just been killing everyone then, because almost always, the lives we all portray to the world are not always the ones we are actually living. I guess the best lesson I've learned from both my Depot days (o sea, nights) and my penchant for all things dramatic television is that we are all hypocrites and we all need to go a little easier on each other. Including ourselves. A little pardon goes a long way.

Is this actually gonna happen? Nah. We've been at this for 6,000 years people. Mr. Rogers little village of warm fuzzies wasn't built in a day. Let's just say we're a LOOOOOOOOONG-time work-in-progress. We are critical beings with vitriolic sweetness by nature. But hey, they say recognition and acceptance are the first steps. And what I'm saying ain't new. Guess it'll take a few more such "water-lations" for the message to get through. Oh, well. In the meantime there's denial and a whole smorgasbord of great T.V.

See ya,

Sweeners

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Online Dating: The New American Normal

I might outdo myself today. One can only hope. So exactly a week ago, I was sitting in the foyer at church, waiting for Sacrament Meeting to be over so that I could teach my Sunday School lesson. That is my calling in my home ward even though I am also attending the Singles Ward. Weird. Anyway, as I was a-sitting, a twenty-something couple and their toddler son intrude upon my solitude as the little boy proceeds to do human donuts in the middle of the carpet. I was mildly distracted from my lesson prep, and since unlike his mother, I wasn't attempting to enforce a reverent silence upon him, he seemed to slowly but surely magnetize over to my neck of the foyer. What happened next put one of those stupid smiles on my face that lasts long after the event has passed. This little tyke hobbles over to the table next to where I was seated in my armchair, and notices there's a single yellow lily bulb resting atop it. He looks from the flower to me, picks up the flower, grins, and han

Dancing Pickles, Serving Missions, and Other Things I didn't Want to Do

Well, it had to happen sooner or later; inevitable, like a bad ABC Family summer sitcom or the resurgence of leggings. What is this great Event (not to be confused with the wannabe 'Lost' T.V. show), you might ask? I am now blogging. Why? Well, dear anybody-who's-reading-this, simply put, I'm going through cha cha cha CHANGES! and because this is the easiest way for people to stay updated, we now find ourselves here. So as some people might know, I am serving the Master and Commander upstairs on an LDS mission in the Capital of the Dominican Republic, Santo Domingo (West Mission). Yes, yes thank you, I know, I am wonderful. I've also determined that this means God loves me more than people serving stateside. It's a logical conclusion. I mean, I'm practically going on vacation! [Note: if you are offended by my humor, I will only cheerfully encourage you to purchase a of sense of one at a local convenience store near you]. But I have a confession, World Wi

There's Nothing to Fear, but What You Feel

"Sometimes I think that it's better to never ask why"- Pink Wow. If crap could be holy, this would be one of those occasions. I haven't written in FOREVER! I have friends that don't even like blogging who have me bested. It's literally been three months, o sea, 1/4 of a year, since I've had anything useful or otherwise to contribute. I have some ah-splaining to do..." Here's a mild recap of some things that have happened. I honestly probably don't remember them all. I still work at Vivint, the leader in home automation and security. But I got a new job. I hesitate to call it a promotion, because I'm not sure that it is, or that I did anything to earn it. But I enjoy it a lot more than when I used to call people up and be like, "hey, so... security?" The nice thing is, I actually think they're great systems, but selling them wasn't my strong point. I have to admit, I used to have a great disdain for salespeop